1. 1. (Let's All) Hide the Sausage [feat. Ivor's Jivers]

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2. 2. (Nobody Does It Like) The Ukelele Man [feat. The Red-Nosed Burglars]

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3. 3. Chantilly Lace (feat. Ivor's Jivers)

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4. 4. Halfway up Virginia (feat. Wellington Ramsbottom IV and The Cowherds Of The County)

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5. 5. The Pussy Song (feat. Claude Furniture and The Litter Kickers)

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6. 6. Probing Andromeda (feat. Captain Sensible)

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7. 7. The Majorca Song (feat. Ivor's Jivers)

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8. 8. Sixty Minute Man (feat. Quintet de Hot Club de Grimethorpe)

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9. 9. Toolbag Ted from Birkenhead (feat. The D-Cups)

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10. 10. Where Did the Lead in My Pencil Go? (feat. Ivor's Jivers & The Brassoles)

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11. 11. Cue for a Song (feat. The Red-Nosed Burglars)

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12. 12. I've Got a Monster (feat. Judge Dread, Screaming Lord Sutch & Dr. Smegma)

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13. 13. Gums and Plums (feat. Ivor's Jivers) [Live at the Swan]

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14. 14. John Thomas Allcock (feat. Ivor's Jivers) [Live at the Swan]

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15. 15. Cucumber Number (feat. Ivor's Jivers) [Live at the Swan]

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16. 16. The Winker's Song (feat. The Vulgar Band) [Live]

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17. 17. Where Did the Lead in My Pencil Go? (Kazoo Version)

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18. 18. Let's All Get Demented

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19. 19. Alpha Pets Jingle

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20. 20. The Pussy Song (Demo)

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21. 21. Supreme Cat Show Advert

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